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Sunday was my big sister’s birthday. I actually have 3 big sisters (and lived to tell about it), and this sister happens to be the middle of the three. She now has her PhD in American History, and has actually contributed a good amount to the knowledge in the area of her expertise. She spent some time teaching at several universities, and was very favorably viewed by her students.

But as for me, she had a long-lasting and devastating effect on my knowledge about the "facts of life."

I was about nine years-old. I was wondering about the origin of babies (the fascination with goats and llamas had not started yet). "So how do babies get in there in the first place?"

My mother and father looked uncomfortable. They are of Dutch descent, and not too comfortable with open talk about anything like sex.

Fortunately, they had an "easy out." They had bought a book that taught about the "facts of life" in a non-threatening way. The book was named Susie’s Babies, and it told the story of a Hamster that lived in the classroom of a 4th grade class. This hamster gets pregnant and the children wonder how this happens. Gently, the author tells them about "Mommy and Daddy Hamsters" and hence, by implication, about "Mommy and Daddy."

So I was sat down on the floor in the living room and given their copy of Susie’s Babies. I was not quite sure how a book about hamsters could answer my question, but I dutifully started reading.

It was then that my sister entered the room. She looked over at me, got a disgusted look on her face, and said, "Eeeww. Robbie’s reading that gross book, Susie’s Babies!"

I dropped the book like it was radioactive and never picked it up again.

It was several years until I found out the truth. I learned from my friends.

Thanks, Sis. Happy Birthday.