Ask Dr. Rob: Reaching New Heights.

August 16, 2007

An anonymous reader asks the following question:

Dr. Rob, I have a terrible fear of flying. Is there anything I can do about that?

Let me start out with suggesting that you get yourself a good name. It certainly must be difficult going through life without one. Even though you have probably been traumatized by living your life to this point without a name, it certainly can be viewed as a golden opportunity. You can choose any name you want! If you want to be “The Phantom,” “Yellow Mystery Meat,” or even “Most Excellent Cool Guy,” you can. What a great opportunity!

Do not do, however, what this Chinese couple tried to do:

Chinese couple tried to name baby “@”

A Chinese couple tried to name their baby “@”, claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child, an official trying to whip the national language into line said on Thursday.

The unusual name stands out especially in Chinese, which has no alphabet and instead uses tens of thousands of multi-stroke characters to represent words.

“The whole world uses it to write e-mail, and translated into Chinese it means ‘love him’,” the father explained, according to the deputy chief of the State Language Commission Li Yuming.

While the “@” simple is familiar to Chinese e-mail users, they often use the English word “at” to sound it out — which with a drawn out “T” sounds something like “ai ta”, or “love him”, to Mandarin speakers.

Li told a news conference on the state of the language that the name was an extreme example of people’s increasingly adventurous approach to Chinese, as commercialization and the Internet break down conventions.

Another couple tried to give their child a name that rendered into English sounds like “King Osrina.”

This is one case in which I think a totalitarian regime is a good thing (although I wouldn’t mind being named “King Osrina”). I really think “#” or “&” or even ““” are better names than “@,” but that’s just my personal opinion.

It’s a Gravity Thing

So what about flying? Again, I must chide you for being a bit vague in your question. Are you talking about flying on an airplane, or are you really contemplating flapping your arms and trying to get airborne? If it is the latter, you definitely have good cause to be afraid of it. The fact is, humans cannot fly. Even wearing a Superman costume with a cape will not aid you in your effort. We simply were not designed with the right “facilities” to fly.

Here is the scientific reason:

The earth is big and we are relatively small. That means that the force of gravity makes this Power Ranger come back to the ground as the relative distance between him and the earth is small. If this Power Ranger should jump really, really, really hard, then he could conceivably achieve “escape velocity,” which is the velocity needed to overcome the force of gravity. Even Power Rangers have not been able to accomplish this task (although they brag about it all the time).

So (if this is what you fear) your fear is well-founded.

Fear Takes Flight

So what about a fear of flying on an airplane? Well, this is a common fear called aviatophobia. Wikipedia addresses this fear as follows:

It is often said that flying is safer than driving, however, since fears and phobias for an individual are highly subjective, statistics are usually not relevant to the fear. This can be attributed to the perceived consequences of an air incident compared to an automobile crash, and the lack of control or severity of the unexpected events whilst flying.

Risk that a typical individual in the U.S. will die in a transportation accident during a single year is far higher for motor vehicles (1 in 7700) than for aircraft (1 in 2,067,000).^[1] However it is possible to present statistics that appear to favor various conclusions when comparing air travel to certain other modes of transportation (such as automobiles). In every case, however, commercial airline travel is so safe that the risk of accidents, on an objective level, doesn’t justify a level of anxiety great enough to have a practical impact on the lives of most people, and so a fear of flying is normally considered a phobia.

The same principles apply to potential risks of hijacking or terrorism, which are so small in reality that they dwindle to insignificance (and thus cannot justify a fear of flying).

What this article fails to address, however, are the other reasons to fear flying. If it was simply dying in a plane crash that people were afraid of, the fear would be uncommon; but there are other dangers that cause great anxiety in travelers.

1. Fear of Monkeys (Primatophobia)

What does this have to do with airplanes? The following article explains:

Airplane Passenger Smuggles Monkey Under His Hat Into U.S.

A man smuggled a monkey onto an airplane Tuesday, stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it perched on his ponytail, an airline official said.

The monkey escapade began in Lima, Peru, late Monday, when the man boarded a flight to Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell. After landing Tuesday morning, the man waited several hours before catching a connecting flight to LaGuardia Airport.

During the flight, people around the man noticed that the marmoset, which normally lives in forests and eats fruit and insects, had emerged from underneath his hat, Russell said.

“Other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him,” she said.

The monkey spent the remainder of the flight in the man’s seat and behaved well, said Russell, who didn’t know how it skirted customs and security.

Airport police were waiting for the man and his monkey when the plane landed about 3 p.m., and the man was taken away for questioning. It was unclear if he would face any criminal charges.

I have heard there is a real rash of animals being brought on planes. Perhaps this man wanted to have the monkey fight off the snakes (mistaking it for a mongoose). Who knows, but it is bad enough to sit next to the guy with pointy elbows. Having a primate staring you down all trip long would be quite unnerving.

2. Fear of Luggage (Samsonitophobia)

Fears include:

Fear of your luggage ending up in Sheboygan (Sheboygophobia)
Fear of your suitcase looking like someone else’s and having to cross-dress for the rest of your trip. (Doesthismakemelookfatophobia)
Fear of large pieces of luggage falling out of the sky mysteriously on your head. (yourreallynutsaphobia)

3. Fear of Lavatories (Nanojohnophobia)

Several fears in this one:

Certainly there is a degree of claustrophobia here,
There is also significant fear of being sucked down that high-powered toilet by mistake. (Suckyoudownaholeophobia)
Fear of the door banging you in your nose. (Dangthathurtsophobia)
Fear of not being able to find the little place where the trash goes and instead using the “feminine waste” compartment. (Eeewophobia)
Fear of bad turbulence while you are “doing business” and having a lot of explaining to do when you land. (Itwasabrowniephobia)

4. Fear of Overhead Compartments (Bangyerheadaphobia)

Includes:

Fear of 2000 pounds of luggage falling on your head when you open the compartment (tonaluggapoundaphobia)
Fear someone might stuff you into the compartment (Sopranophobia)

5. Fear of Sitting Next to a Crying Infant (Icantakitnomorophobia)

Including:

Fear of diapers (Manthosehuggiesstinkophopbia)
Fear of breastfeeding (Hideyourmammosmaamophobia)
Fear of Elmo (Redhairydemonophobia)

You see, this fear of flying can be a very complex thing.

Overcoming Your Fear

Lets face it, there is some risk involved in flying. Yet there are risks in other parts of your life. Perhaps the best example of this is just sitting in your house. Do you know that there is a 25% chance of an alien invasion starting at your home next weekend? Now you do. That makes getting on a plane and flying to New Zealand sound a lot more inviting, doesn’t it?

Really, if you only knew how endangered you are at any given moment, you would not think twice about flying. I know this because of the wiretap we have on your house at this moment and the guy hiding behind your bushes.

Thanks for the question, @#$*%@.

Remember to send your questions to dr.rob.questions@gmail.com.

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