Comments on: Death’s Door http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/ Thoughts of a moderately strange (yet not harmful) primary care physician. Wed, 08 Sep 2010 03:01:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: smalltowndoc http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-215 smalltowndoc Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:12:41 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-215 Moving post. It feels good to know that there are doctors who think more than academic satisfaction. i have seen it quiet often, doing unnecessary tests to satisfy their brain than helping the patient. This is quiet bad especially in a place like India, where insurance is not quiet common and the patient foots the bill most of the time. Many of us do not understand, that no one wants to spend their last few hours of life sorrounded by machines and tubes invading every pore in the body. i am sure anyone reading you post will develop atleast some compassion, in which case your blog has achived its purpose. Moving post. It feels good to know that there are doctors who think more than academic satisfaction. i have seen it quiet often, doing unnecessary tests to satisfy their brain than helping the patient. This is quiet bad especially in a place like India, where insurance is not quiet common and the patient foots the bill most of the time. Many of us do not understand, that no one wants to spend their last few hours of life sorrounded by machines and tubes invading every pore in the body. i am sure anyone reading you post will develop atleast some compassion, in which case your blog has achived its purpose.

]]> By: Leigh http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-16 Leigh Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:06:35 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-16 Thank you Dr. Rob for an incredibly moving post. I can only hope that when/if I ever face such a tragedy, I will encounter a doctor like you. Thank you Dr. Rob for an incredibly moving post. I can only hope that when/if I ever face such a tragedy, I will encounter a doctor like you.

]]> By: Greg P http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-17 Greg P Wed, 19 Sep 2007 09:32:01 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-17 There is something of a paradox with doctors and facing death. We may see it from time to time, maybe for some quite a bit, but it seems many still haven’t come to terms with it. It’s easier to focus on the data - the labs, the vital signs, the drug doses, the X-rays and scans — so that we can keep away from the human side, keep the lid on our own emotional ineptitude in dealing with the intense emotions we sometimes see at the bedside with the family. Some point out that for us death represents a failure we don’t want to acknowledge. Probably true to some extent, but it should also temper the hubris we may feel at our “successes.” There is something of a paradox with doctors and facing death. We may see it from time to time, maybe for some quite a bit, but it seems many still haven’t come to terms with it. It’s easier to focus on the data – the labs, the vital signs, the drug doses, the X-rays and scans — so that we can keep away from the human side, keep the lid on our own emotional ineptitude in dealing with the intense emotions we sometimes see at the bedside with the family. Some point out that for us death represents a failure we don’t want to acknowledge. Probably true to some extent, but it should also temper the hubris we may feel at our “successes.”

]]> By: Jacqui http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-18 Jacqui Wed, 19 Sep 2007 04:55:00 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-18 As my son lay in his isolette fighting for his life after his premature birth, my husband’s grandfather lay in a hospital bed on the other side of the city, dying. On the night that I held my son for the first time, my husband spent his night with his extendded family surrounding his much loved and adored grandfather as he passed over. He died surrounded by all of his family. Hubby has often told me that when he dies, he wants to be surrounded by his family like his grandfather did. As you said, it was incredibly sad (I made it there for his final breaths) but the love in that room was undeniable. There is definitely a time where the medical profession needs to step back and let the family and love take over. Great post. As my son lay in his isolette fighting for his life after his premature birth, my husband’s grandfather lay in a hospital bed on the other side of the city, dying. On the night that I held my son for the first time, my husband spent his night with his extendded family surrounding his much loved and adored grandfather as he passed over. He died surrounded by all of his family.

Hubby has often told me that when he dies, he wants to be surrounded by his family like his grandfather did. As you said, it was incredibly sad (I made it there for his final breaths) but the love in that room was undeniable. There is definitely a time where the medical profession needs to step back and let the family and love take over.

Great post.

]]> By: Rob http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-19 Rob Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:20:26 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-19 I am not sure what makes the difference. I think the main thing is empathy, which we seem to have in varying amounts. I don’t know why I got more than some have, but it seems I have. TBTAM - that is exactly what I am talking about. I am not sure what makes the difference. I think the main thing is empathy, which we seem to have in varying amounts. I don’t know why I got more than some have, but it seems I have.

TBTAM – that is exactly what I am talking about.

]]> By: CAK http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-20 CAK Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:56:57 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-20 So, what do you think is the difference between the doc who can recognize and help provide a good death and the majority of docs, as suggested by Sid Schwab, who see the dying patient as an illness-object, and relish the debate about the diagnosis? Why did some guys turn out like Dr. Rob/Sid Schwab, and some guys turn out the other way? Chris and Vic So, what do you think is the difference between the doc who can recognize and help provide a good death and the majority of docs, as suggested by Sid Schwab, who see the dying patient as an illness-object, and relish the debate about the diagnosis? Why did some guys turn out like Dr. Rob/Sid Schwab, and some guys turn out the other way?

Chris and Vic

]]> By: Moof http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-21 Moof Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:23:45 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-21 Dr. Rob, that was really powerful - thank you for posting it. I’ve had both good - and (very) bad - experiences with loved ones dying in a hospital. I think that the attitude of the physician, and of the nurses, makes all of the difference in the world. In my mind, honesty - always honesty, about a patient’s condition. They have the right to know that it’s time to “prepare” themselves in whatever way they need … and they should be able to spend those last moments, in private, with their loved ones - away from prying eyes, and callous comments, no matter how well-intended. Excellent post, Dr. Rob! Dr. Rob, that was really powerful – thank you for posting it. I’ve had both good – and (very) bad – experiences with loved ones dying in a hospital. I think that the attitude of the physician, and of the nurses, makes all of the difference in the world.

In my mind, honesty – always honesty, about a patient’s condition. They have the right to know that it’s time to “prepare” themselves in whatever way they need … and they should be able to spend those last moments, in private, with their loved ones – away from prying eyes, and callous comments, no matter how well-intended.

Excellent post, Dr. Rob!

]]> By: jmb http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-22 jmb Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:28:46 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-22 I observed this so often when I worked in a teaching hospital. Doctors making academic arguments about treatment when it was obvious to all that it was time to let the patient go. Nurses in the med room of the nursing station angry with frustration at treatments they were obliged to give. Good post Dr Rob I observed this so often when I worked in a teaching hospital. Doctors making academic arguments about treatment when it was obvious to all that it was time to let the patient go. Nurses in the med room of the nursing station angry with frustration at treatments they were obliged to give.

Good post Dr Rob

]]> By: Sid Schwab http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-23 Sid Schwab Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:05:16 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-23 I did a series “on death” a while back. We share the same views. I sense there may be a slight awakening, but in general I think the profession as a whole does a poor job with these issues. For lots of reasons. And I agree about bongi. To practice in his world… I did a series “on death” a while back. We share the same views. I sense there may be a slight awakening, but in general I think the profession as a whole does a poor job with these issues. For lots of reasons.

And I agree about bongi. To practice in his world…

]]> By: rlbates http://distractible.org/2007/09/18/deaths-door/comment-page-1/#comment-24 rlbates Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:34:10 +0000 http://distractible.org/?p=27#comment-24 Nice post, Dr Rob! I’d like to go in my sleep at home, like one of my grandmothers did. Nice post, Dr Rob! I’d like to go in my sleep at home, like one of my grandmothers did.

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