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Loading ...The Man who twirled with rose in teeth
Has his tongue tied up in thorns
His once-expanded sense of space
and time all shot and torn.
See him wander, hat in hand
"look at me I’m so forlorn
Ask anyone who can recall
It’s horrible to be born"
Bruce Cockburn – Shipwrecked at the Stable Door
I live my life as a doctor. I try to share that life with you in this blog. It certainly is tough to be a physician in the US at this time. I think it is good to have this venue by which to share my life. It gives good space for discussion on some really important issues. It gives both entertainment and education for my readers, and it gives me a chance to do something I truly enjoy: to write.
Yet I wonder sometimes, how much to open the door on my life. I am not just a doctor and blogger. I am a father and a husband. I have lots of other things going on in my life. I have lots of other things going on in my head. As a blogger, you show yourself to the world in a way that is, to some extent, controlled by what you reveal. I am a two-dimensional person, showing the sides of myself that are most comfortable for me to show. Yet that is not all there is.
To some extent we do that with everyone we know. We smile when we are having a bad day so we don’t have to explain why we aren’t smiling. We let people into our thoughts, but only as much as we are comfortable doing, and we hide some thoughts from anyone altogether.
Something funny happens, however, when you have blogged for a while: you build friendships. Clearly the biggest difference between now an my life prior to blogging is that I have a bunch more friends – and a very diverse group at that. I have friends who are from all over the country – even all around the world. I have Hindu, Jewish, Atheist, and Agnostic friends, where I would have never had such an opportunity to get close to people across so many faiths – especially given my basically sheltered WASP American suburban life.
Once you get friends, the natural tendency is to build those friendships. Building those friendships usually involves learning struggles and weaknesses of other people. Friendship involves living through periods of peoples’ lives while at their side. It also involves letting other people in to the stuff in your life that you are going through so that they can stand by you.
Why do I write this? I write this as a thank-you to those who have sensed that things are not all "peachy" in my life at this time. It is nice to know that people care about more than just your writing. It is nice to know that others have a real interest in your life. It is a sign that you have really developed friendships. That’s a really good thing.
I certainly won’t detail what is going on, and am not out trolling for pats on the back; I just want to acknowledge the fact that I truly do feel that the "hobby" of blogging is far more than that. It is real life. It involves real people who I am really getting to know. It is not the same as golf or fishing. It is not the same as bowling or model trains. It is much more than that. We have a community of people who are – on different levels – getting to know one-another. These friendships are no less real than those with the people I see during the day – in fact, the convenience of the Internet makes them far more accessible than my "real life" friends.
So, to all of my friends out there, I say to you: Thanks for letting me get to know you. Thanks for your friendship.
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Dr. Rob, I was just trying to explain this in the OR this morning to the crew. You said it so well. Thank you.
I’ve come to think of you as a friend. And in return, I had no sense of the troubles to which you refer. Sorry. Some friend I am. I wish you well, is all I can say.
I fell this way too. We have moved around a lot and it is just easier to keep in touch with people that you only know online, the internet never moves just turn on your computer and there your friends are.
I’ve met some of my very best friends online, and even though we’re in different parts of the country, they are as close as my phone or desk when I need them. It’s really nice.
I was thinking about blog friends as well. They are very real. That’s what makes blogging such an interesting thing. You get to learn from people you would have not had access to any other way, and connections are made that are very real. You begin to learn about them through their writings, and as you said-what they chose to disclose. We are the lucky ones that have found this web site. I’ve turned to Moof once with a very real, very serious situation I was in. She was a light in a storm for me, and Dr. A. has helped and been there and so many others I’ve met. You’ve got a absolute arsenal of support and we all thank you too – for being our friend.
You have said what many of us think…I have been checking your blog much more often recently, because, like others, after reading you now for many many months, I have sensed something different.
We all deal with life issues, and changes, in different ways. As for me, I tend to shut down and push people away from me, at just the times when I need them the most.
I have made such good friends online, that I cant imagine life without some of them in it. Like you say, we make friends with so many that we would not otherwise ever have had a chance to get to know. Someone once told me, that blogging gets rid of first impressions, that are so focused on the physical appearance. We get to know each other from the inside out. Which is the exact opposite of real life.
You have been one of my most valued blog friends. Whatever is happening with you, I hope you know that you can always depend on your blog friends for support and understanding.
Take care.
I’m sorry to hear that you are having some struggles in your life at the moment. Your blog has brought me alot of joy and it has also taught me alot in the short space of time that I have been checking in with you.
Everything that you have written rings true.I love belonging to a community who is genuinely interested in the things I have to say. Sometimes I find it is easier to have friendships with people on the internet than in real life, also that I can be more open and honest with them than friends I see face to face. It is quite cleansing to speak so openly.
Very well said Dr.Rob.
I have to confess that I am not one of your blog friends who ’sensed that things are not all “peachy” in your life at this time.’ I hope whatever the non-peachy stuff is work-related & not in your personal / family life.
It is indeed true we all gain a lot of support from friends in difficult times.
Wishing you the best.
Remember, however bad it seems, this too shall pass.
I feel like a shmuck. I didn’t pick up on anything either but of course you know that I’m pulling for you and always ready to lend an ear. Thank you for the work you put into your blog and I look forward to completing this little project we’ve been working on……one day…..hopefully soon…..maybe.
Hi…after our little “email exchange,” I thought I would come over and see what you wrote as you had told me about it.
I think we pretty much said it all but here’s some more support for you anyway–and thank you again for supporting me as well.
Hey, you’re the first person I’ve come out to visit from staying in my little hidey-hole for some time now so that’s pretty good, eh?
Sometimes it takes “Mutual Life Is A Disaster Radar” to bring people together? Why yes…I think it does.
Hugs,
PA
Well, Doc, I think you are a neat guy.
A very competent and caring physician.
Now about those Jesus shoes………….
Rob, thanks for expressing so well what so many of us have found in this blogging experience. A real community of helpful caring people exist out here on the internet and the fact that they are so diverse helps to break down so many barriers for us all. Life is a series of ups and downs. No one is exempt but I hope you are soon on the upswing again.
Amen.
When I moved to Denver I knew 1 person…a former client. All the rest of my friends..and they are friends in every sense of the word!..are bloggers or else friends met thru bloggers.
It has made all the difference in my life.
I have only been reading your blog for a week…linked to you several days ago…and sorry to hear that things are not in peachy mode. Or even chocolate cake
I know what you mean, tho. Certain things are happening in my personal life ie the normal ups and downs of a life and I can’t blog about them. Is my heart breaking over this stuff?? You bet! But for the good of all involved I have to keep silent. As a Healthcare Professional, I know you have an added layer of confidentiality you adhere to.
Thanks for sharing what you can and being so refreshingly informative (and beyond funny!) along the way.
Hope things improve very very soon!
Kath
Dr. Rob,
Back atcha, baby.
Dr. Smak
This is my first visit to your blog and reading what you have written sounds a little like your thinking of quitting… I have more friends through my blog and I do in my real life, I think it’s just the nature of my life. Having been a caregiver for my Mom for three years doesn’t lend itself to much of a social life. Just this past month I met personally two blogger friends in Athens. It was amazing how easy it was, how well we got along and sad it was to say goodbye. Hopefully I will see them again. Lovely post and I hope whatever it is that is giving you some grief will sort itself out…ciao
as they say in south africa (in some circles anyway), strongs. (sort of means strength to you, bro’)
“And since I have no gift to give,
And love alone must make amends
I pray while this short life shall last
‘God make me worthy of my friends’.”
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