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My Goals

by Rob on August 26, 2008 · Comments

in Being a Doctor

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What do I want to accomplish as a physician?  Here’s my list:

  1. Get all of my patients very old.
  2. See each patient infrequently as possible – Not because of noncompliance, but because they are well.
  3. Have our office become a venue for an Olympic event. 

    essentials-javelin-pitkamak

  4. Spend more time talking about non-medical things than medical things – Hopefully there won’t be much medical stuff to talk about.  It is far better to just chat about life.
  5. Have patients so well that they wonder why they have to come in.
  6. Llama rides behind the building.
  7. Use as few medications as possible – Every medicine comes with a good side and a bad side.  The more medications a person is on, the higher likelihood of side effects.
  8. Order as few tests as possible – More information may not be better.  I do my best to only order tests that will help me make a decision.
  9. Go two weeks without someone throwing a fish at me.
  10. Have every patient know what tests are due at any given time.  They may not know off-hand, but they should have access to that information.
  11. agnew1Avoid being nominated for Vice-president.
  12. Have every patient know exactly why they are taking each medication I give them.  Again, they should have access to this information if they don’t know it off-hand.
  13. Make it easy for people to get in touch with me – this one we are working on.  It is very hard with the volume we have, but hopefully some of the things we are working on will help get us there.
  14. Somehow get rid of those pesky walruses.
  15. Have people not dread coming to see me.  It may not be fun, but it doesn’t have to be horrible.
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  • Those goals sound excellent. You're hired!
  • Llama rides?

    Time for me to switch offices :)
  • What is your current record for time without someone throwing a fish at you? Two weeks seems like a lofty goal...
  • Rob
    I barely make it two days. Stupid perch.
  • Have you ever actually had a fish thrown at you?
  • Rob
    No, but it really would spice things up if I did.
  • Dr. Anna
    One would think a few walruses would go a long way toward controlling the fish.
  • Rob
    Hah! I wonder if that is why they hang around the office. It makes perfect sense now. No fish, no walruses (walri?).
  • Ken O.
    (3) and (9) seem contra-indicated; fish-throwing is going to be a big sport as of the 2012 Olympics!! ;)
  • Melissa
    I'm curious, you sound like a very reasonable, likable, and competent doctor who truly cares for his patients and sees things other than the obvious. I'm curious - how much time do you spend with each patient (just for visits, not procedures). I've had the same doctor for maybe 8-10 years, and my husband now sees him as well. Unless I make the first am appt, I almost ALWAYS wait more than an hour to see him. Also, I get the feeling that our doctor (a male) seems to pay more attention to my husbands issues than to mine. My husband NEVER has had to wait that long. Brian (husband) writes a list and goes over it with the doc. I do not, but if I remember something I wanted to ask him, the staff tell me to make a separate appointment to address that different issue. I wonder if it's my imagination, because my husband is 14 years older than me (57), or if it's because he's a man. I fear if I try to find another doctor I could go from the frying pan into the fire. (I gave up seeing only female doctors years ago because they are NOT necessarily any better!). Any thoughts or things I should think about or consider? Thanks for your time. Too bad you're not here in Michigan!!
  • Number 7 is my favorite. Do they prefer wild rides like roller coasters or calm rides like the carousel?
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